Chapter 2: Balancing Support - Fostering Resilience and Self-Worth in Young Athletes

Key Points

• “The middle ground” between being under involved and over involved is where your child recognises that you invest in their sport for their benefit
• Communicating with your child that you understand their perspective can help you explore and share their experiences in a positive way
• It is absolutely crucial that you communicate unconditional love and acceptance of your child regardless of their performance
• When parents communicate love “conditionally”, tying special rewards and attention to winning, or withdrawing attention for losing, it has devastating effects on a child
• Competing for parent’s approval will affect your child’s “self worth”, take away the fun of competition and cause losing to become shameful
• Communicate unconditional love by providing attention, affection and approval, verbally and non verbally, regardless of the result
• “Tell them and show them you are proud”, with the same post sport routine regardless of the result
• By setting behavioural expectations with consequences, you’re helping your child build frustration tolerance and impulse control
• Provide a comfortable atmosphere to talk about difficult internal experiences, nurturing your child’s awareness and self acceptance
• It’s normal to be nervous before playing sport and you should communicate this with your child
• Encouraging internal stories of competence, helps instill self belief
• By recognising and reinforcing your child’s strengths, regardless of the outcome, you will nurture their “competence stories”
• Empower your child’s self regulation and allow them to solve sports problems on their own
• Let your child be responsible for their own sports preparation, helping to improve their decision making and providing belief that they can find solutions to problems
• It’s critical to encourage your child’s exposure to sports challenges, setbacks and unfairness, as these experiences provide crucial resilience building opportunities